


The Perfect Solution

by Small_Hobbit



Category: Hamlet - Shakespeare
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-06
Updated: 2018-09-06
Packaged: 2019-07-07 18:58:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15914298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Small_Hobbit/pseuds/Small_Hobbit
Summary: Claudius is determined to do something about Hamlet.An AU is which the solution spares a lot of bloodshed.





	The Perfect Solution

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BiffElderberry](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BiffElderberry/gifts).



“Something has to be done about Hamlet,” Claudius said to Gertrude.  “He’s beginning to get on my nerves.”

“And not just your nerves,” the queen replied.  “He slopes around, pretends to be mad – when it suits him – his madness never seems to stop his appearance at meals.”

“I’d assumed he joined us merely to make his usual tedious points.”

“I’m sure he does.  But he deliberately joins us, which rather belies the madness.  And making points hasn’t stopped him eating.”

“I don’t know.  He made a great deal about rejecting the delicious orange pudding we had yesterday.  And I don’t think he ate the lemon tart the day before,” the king said thoughtfully.

“He’s never liked citrus puddings, even as a child, which, I might add, is why we’ve been having a variety of them lately.”

Claudius laughed.  “Playing him at his own game, I see.”

Gertrude agreed.  “Make polite conversation at meal times and you will have chocolate desserts.  But you’re right.  We need to find a more permanent solution.”

“The simplest thing to do would be to marry him off.”

“Oh, please, not to Ophelia.  Then we’d have both of them dripping around the court.  And it would give Laertes extra reason to be here.”

“There’s nothing wrong with Laertes, although I agree he’s far too prone to quarrelling and fighting to want him here for too long.  Maybe we should consider marrying Hamlet to Laertes; it’s unusual, but not unheard of.”

Gertrude looked sharply at Claudius.  “I thought your plan was to send Laertes as an attaché to one of our ambassadors, to let him start learning the art of diplomacy somewhere small where he couldn’t do too much damage.  You can’t want Hamlet to go with him.”

Claudius banged his hand against his head.  “No, I certainly don’t.  Laertes may accidentally upset a few people, but Hamlet would be a disaster.  Who do you suggest?”

“He seems quite sweet on Horatio, and they do make rather a lovely couple.”

“Rosencrantz and Guildenstern make a lovely couple, and you know what I think of them.  Besides which, the whole point is to get Hamlet away from the court, and whilst Horatio seems a perfectly reasonable man, we wouldn’t achieve our prime objective.”

“Well, I’m running out of ideas.”

Claudius grinned.  “I’ve got in!  Young Fortinbras.  We marry Hamlet off to Fortinbras, which gives an alliance between our two countries, and stops Fortinbras attacking us, which, I should point out, in our current state we would be hard pushed to resist.  Fortinbras, and more importantly his uncle, Norway, will see the advantage of the match.  And Fortinbras won’t be bothered.  I imagine he was expecting a diplomatic marriage, and he has the morals of an alley cat.  So we’re all happy!”

***

“No,” Hamlet screamed.  “How dare you!  How dare you arrange my marriage without consulting me?”

Claudius looked unmoved.  “Fortinbras has sent word he is on his way and should reach us by midday the day after tomorrow.  I suggest you prepare yourself.”

Hamlet turned to Gertrude.  “Mother!”

“It’s for the best,” she replied.

“He’s forced you into this, hasn’t he?” Hamlet said.

Gertrude smiled.  “No.  It wouldn’t have been my first choice,” she glanced briefly at Horatio, and catching his eye, gave a slight nod, “but in the circumstances I think it’s an excellent match and I will be very happy for you.”

Hamlet spun round and ran out of the room.

***

“You wished to see my, madam?” Horatio said.  It had been with some trepidation he’d gone to the queen’s apartments; he had been surprised at the way the maid had instantly ushered him in.

“Yes,” Gertrude replied.  “Your presence here after only a brief nod from me gives me great hope for the success of my plan.”

“What would you have me do?”

“You are aware my husband wishes Hamlet to marry Fortinbras.  Ordinarily, I would be very happy with the match, and I answered Hamlet truthfully when he questioned me about it.  However, I am also aware that if circumstances were different you and Hamlet would be planning to marry each other.  Am I correct?”

“Yes, madam.  But I understand these things are not to be, I am not of sufficient stature to marry the heir to Denmark’s throne.”

“As it stands, no, but I have a proposition to put to you if you are prepared to listen to it.”

Horatio looked keenly at Gertrude.  “I’ll listen.”

“Good,” she replied.  “You are not inclined to rush into things; you have great potential as a diplomat.  Now, an alliance with Norway would be to our distinct advantage.  If Hamlet marries Fortinbras, this secures the alliance, and with Hamlet in Norway they have, what I would hesitate to call, but in truth is, a hostage.  However, if you were to go to Norway to assist our ambassador and took Hamlet with you as your married partner, he still has the potential of being a hostage, and you and he have the opportunity to be together.”

She stopped and watched as Horatio processed the idea.

“Can I have time to think about it?” he said.

“Of course, I shall need your answer by late tomorrow afternoon.  And please do not discuss this with my son, it is not a matter I should wish to go any further than between the two of us until you have decided one way or the other.”

“I understand.  Either way, Hamlet goes to Norway,” Horatio said. 

Gertrude nodded.

“But what about Fortinbras?” Horatio continued.  “Surely he’s going to arrive expecting an offer of marriage.”

“No, the king worded his message carefully.  Fortinbras has been invited to discuss a treaty which will be of significant advantage to Norway.  The details will not be revealed until he arrives.”

Horatio stood and bowed.  “Until tomorrow, madam.”

***

Fortinbras stretched and leaned back in his chair.  It really had been an excellent feast, but he probably needed to get some rest before beginning the journey back to Norway the following day. 

At that moment Claudius reached over, holding a flagon.  “More wine, Lord Fortinbras?” he asked.

Fortinbras smiled.  Why not?  He could always delay his departure until after noon.  After all, Uncle Norway would not begrudge him a few extra hours in celebration of such an excellent treaty.  “Thank you,” he said.

For it really had gone well.  There was now no need to make preparations to attack Denmark, or provide for the accompanying expense, and Claudius had tacitly acknowledged the difficulties his country would have faced had the attack gone ahead.  And whilst having Denmark as a subject country would have had its advantages, it was easier to leave the country under its current rulers rather than providing direct rule.  Plus Fortinbras had no intention of being sent to rule in Denmark and leaving Norway to the machinations of others when he intended to inherit the throne on his uncle’s death.

Even better, he did not need to marry Hamlet, but instead was still free to marry the Scottish princess, creating a much-desired alliance with that country.  Besides which, the princess pleased his eye considerably more than Hamlet did.  Fortinbras had cast an appreciative look at Horatio, but this had been rebutted by that gentleman.  There was time, however, for this to change.

Fortinbras lifted his glass and said, “To our alliance!”

The toast was returned with much cheering.

 


End file.
